Independence

I've always depended on someone my whole life. In my early academic life, I had my parents help me with homework. In college, I had my friends and blockmates to count on whenever I was lost in the lessons. In my personal life, I always depended on a close confidante or a boyfriend to neutralize my emotional outbursts. 

After dedicating a year to self-discovery, I've learned the tip of what it means to be independent.
After coming back from Indonesia last year, my whole world was shaken. I saw things differently. I looked at the world though a bigger perspective. I realized there was still a lot about myself that I have yet to learn form.

Because of that, I decided to spend one year figuring out how I deal with things & how I tackle problems. But the most important commitment I had to make was refraining from entering into any kind of special relationship with a guy. This was something I felt I really had to do because it's been years since I last didn't have any involvement with anyone. And it's paid off.

I'm learning to once again do things for me. I'm learning to decide based on the things I really want to do and not because of what the other guy might think of my decisions. I'm living my life on my own terms. And it feels so darn good. I know there's so much more to this than I have tasted, but it's just really liberating.

It makes thinking easier, clearer, and so much less complicated. Harsh as it is, the world really resonates an 'every man for himself' mantra. Makes it difficult to find a place in one's life to allow another person in. You can handle friends but to let even just a single person in on everything about your life really requires a different level of trust, patience and love.

For that reason...

I look up to leaders because they understand a time beyond what I am familiar with.

I look up to lovers because they possess a strength which I have yet to develop.

I look up to single mothers because they have a patience which I am yet to acquire.

I look up to married couples because they know a respect which I still need to learn.

I look up to parents because they share a love which I cannot yet give so willingly. 

Independence does not end with being self-sufficient. Independence is completed in giving yourself for the service of others.

Hanggang sa muli!